30 More Days: Favorite Weapon

This is part of a series in which I try to write a post every day on silly video game topics.  For the list of topics, click here.

Was there any doubt?

The Master Sword
“Master using it and you can have this.”

There’s really no other choice for me.  The sword of evil’s bane is by far my favorite weapon in any game.  The Arthurian homages, the powers of the sword to reflect evil (Tennis, anyone?) and the various means of acquiring the sword make it one of the most epic pieces of loot.  It was the Master Sword, after all, that really opened my eyes to just how satisfying getting “phat loot”, as it is called in parlance of our times, really is.  Fire flowers come and go.   A new power is dandy, but it’s just a way to beat the next boss.  The Master Sword is a game changer.

 

30 More Days: Game You Love to Hate

This is part of a series in which I try to write a post every day on silly video game topics.  For the list of topics, click here.

I don’t think I have a single answer here.  There are some TERRIBLE games out there, and games that I thought might have looked good, but sucked, but I keep going back to a genre on this one.  That’s right you little mouth-breathing, moms basement living, anti-social morons, I hate multi-player shooters.

Doom, Halo, Unreal, Gears of War, first-person, third-person, in the immortal words of Chris Tucker, I don’t give a fuck.  They all fucking suck.  I hate the engines, I hate the gore level, I hate the level design, I hate that I get motion sickness playing a lot of them, I hate the endless barrage of weapon upgrades, and more than anything else, I hate, I hate, I hate, I HATE multi-player.

angry
Your typical multi-person gamer.

No, I haven’t played a lot of them.  I’m better than that.  Why would I hob nob with short-attention span, shit talking, ignorant, hate-spewing troglodytes?  Spend any time on your X-Box one of these games and you’ll get a sample platter of the ‘best’ humanity has to offer.  “LOL u gt pwnd fggt!  Hhaha ur ghey!!1”  Maybe even uttered aloud over a built-in chat/VoIP system, too.  And there’s no point to these games, really.  Just an endless slog doing the same thing over and over and over, killing the same enemies just so you can have some shiny achievement or points or new look or something.  Fucking pathetic.  Just another example of the deacy of our society and people’s sick urges to live out their fanta…

What’s that?  What games to do I play?  MMORPGs, why do you ask?

30 More Days: Favorite Name

This is part of a series in which I try to write a post every day on silly video game topics.  For the list of topics, click here.

I’ve probably already alluded to it several times during the course of this series, so let’s just jump right to it.  While I’ve had a lot of fun characters of various names, the one I always come back to is Jest.

I’ve had a variety of Jests through various games, but it never really caught on until World of Warcraft when I created my human paladin and long-time main.  “Jest Prime” (guild canon was that she was actually Jest “Lightbringer”, claimed to be Uther’s love child and was quite possibly an insane person) more or less set the imprint that would be all future “Jest” characters.  Red hair, preferably short, usually Paladin or some equally defensive/heavy armor character (whenever said archetype fits).  My wife can look over and see a character and know instantly, “Yep, that’s a Jest.”

The name came from an unfinished (un-started?) work of fantasy fiction I had dreamt up at some point.  “Jest” was the nickname of Jessaterra (sometimes Jessica) Rovanna, another name I’ve used often for characters.  The actual abilities and personality traits of Jest have migrated quite a bit in the stories I’ve imagined.  Early on, Jest was a love interest of another main character, only a slight bit more than the damsel in distress.  I grew attached the character, and I started to imagine Jest more as a gifted character and an fierce individualist.  More and more, I realized that it was her story I wanted to tell, and the early love interest roles were reversed.

Maybe I should take a peek at some of those old stories.

30 More Days: Preferred Universe

This is part of a series in which I try to write a post every day on silly video game topics.  For the list of topics, click here.

And I am now finally caught up, doing three posts in one day.  (There it is again.)  I have not yet read TFG’s answer on this one yet, but knowing her, it’s either WOW or Pokemon, or probably both, from what I’ve heard about Mists of Pandaria.  (Really, it’s called Pandaria?  Is their city called Panda Town?  The Panda Palace?  Grumble.)

That’s not really an aside, is it?  That is the topic, after all.  Azeroth, for all its faults, was a great place to inhabit.  The artwork was really well done, even considering Warcraft’s comic-influenced art style.  Khaz Modan, Ashenvale, Thunder Bluff, some of my favorite locations in any video game.  But, as an actual place, it just doesn’t work, and no, I’m not talking about obviously magical effects.  “Lost” continents being discovered conveniently when the narrative demands it is a big part of what is so goofy about Azeroth and the writing thereof.

I think it’s a fitting tribute then that I suggest that fabled Rhode Island metropolis, Paragon City.  The City of Heroes.

City of Heroes recently was shut down and with it, a universe that I came back to time and time again, a word I revisited more often than any other MMO combined.  Hundreds of lives were created and wiped clean, as I endlessly dreamed of new heroes and villains that would do battle along the streets of Steel Canyon, in the slums of King’s Row, and the ruins of Overbrook.  Heroes such as the Emerald Mask, Jason Black, Post Meridian, Red Jacket and the Crimson Vespa would fight epic battles against the Clockwork King, Dr. Vhazilok and the endless minions of Arachnos.  Villains like Sadim, The Dallas Has-Been, Witch-Killer Wren and Duvant planned and schemed, looking to take down Paragon and Rogue Isles for their own gain.

30 More Days: Favorite Boss/Raid

This is part of a series in which I try to write a post every day on silly video game topics.  For the list of topics, click here.

Please allow me to state for the record:  I hate raids.  I have rarely enjoyed myself on raids in any game, so my answer for this will not be a “favorite raid.”  However, allow me to speak some about raid mechanics and “boss fights” within raids.

My experience with raids in MMOs is thus; Everquest’s Planes of Hate & Fear and some Velious stuff.  Dark Age of Camelot‘s Realm vs. Realm keep raids.  World of Warcraft‘s Molten Core & Wrath of the Lich King.  That’s.  About.  It.  So I am very much a raiding newbie.  My experience with raids from the outset was one of idle frustration and boredom, especially with Everquest.  Haters need not even reply – raiding in Everquest was one of the most inane and poorly designed systems ever.  The mere concept of them, waiting for a spawn, hoping that other groups would respect your raid, having no instancing what so ever has always struck me as one of the most shit-tacular ways of wasting everyone’s time.  Coupled with the punitive penalties for failure, I simply vowed never to spend that much time with them.

DAOC’s PvP based raid system was much more enjoyable when it focused on siege warfare, otherwise it was Zerg v. Zerg, or small group combat which was not “raiding”.  WOW’s Molten Core wasn’t much better than Everquest – trading instances and on-demand raids for insane amounts of trash.  But, WOW did something, and expanded on it well; it added mechanics.  Tricks, strategies, things you had to do – whatever you want to call them – boss fights felt more like, well boss fights.  You had to be adaptive.  You had to, essentially, fail a few times, figure out the trick to beating the boss, and then you had to execute.

That’s what’s always fun about boss fights.  On TFG’s site, I answered Ganondorf/Ganon as my favorite boss fight.  That was a great fight, and a fitting end to one of the best games ever.  Some cinematic action, a curveball in the game mechanics coupled with a new fight mechanic (tennis, anyone?), with some cutscenes and mid-fight break back to traditional gameplay before going all-in with another handicap and a bigger, harder boss.

Ocarina of Time had a pretty good boss fight in Ganon, but the more I think about the idea of adaptability, another game stands out for requiring inventiveness and a lot of trial and error.

That’s right, my vote has changed and is going to Mega Man.

30 More Days: Favorite Playable Race

This is part of a series in which I try to write a post every day on silly video game topics.  For the list of topics, click here.

This was a difficult one for me for several reasons.  Given a choice of various character options, I will inevitably choose everything, because I am, as we say in the MMO-world, an alt-whore.  I just want to try everything.  But there are some patterns of races I gravitate to, and races I shy away from.

I am not big on “furry” races.  Tails and clawed feet, non-humanoid faces, nope.  Which I guess does limit me from some cool choices.  Khajiit from Skyrim come to mind being a viable option for a variety of builds, and a genuinely interesting race.  The idea of a “Dragon-Tiger” is pretty Napoleon Dynamite but I’m honest enough with myself to admit that I am just juvenile enough to try it.  Still, if it has fur, tails, claws, no thanks.

Shorties are another no-go.  Perhaps that makes me a horrible person, but I like to see armor and clothes on my avatar in games, and short races tend to be a bit compressed.  I’ll admit, Gnomes are pretty boss, and I do have an Asura in GW2, but they are far from my favorite.  Hunch-backed characters/races fall in this same categories (WOW’s Orcs, Forsaken & Tauren, I’m looking at YOU.)

So what does that leave me with?  Something with a blend of fun powers (or good stats) that meets my aesthetic criteria.  Wood Elves from Everquest, Half Elves from EQ2, Norn from GW2, Bretons from Skyrim.  My two favorite from WOW were my human paladin (mostly because at the time that was the only option other than Dwarf) and my female orc shaman (for reasons I won’t get into here!)

30 (More) Days of Video Games

I’m getting a late start to this but here goes.  I am going to try to keep up with my dear friend the Token Female Gamer with her added list of “Another 30 Days of Video Games“.  The idea is to promote a good habit of posting something every day (which is something that I am terrible at.)  I’m going to be using a list of topics that TFG created.  So, here goes.

TFG’s list;

31) Favorite Playable Race
32) Favorite Boss Encounter/Raid
33) Preferred Universe to inhabit
34) Favorite skill
35) Favorite scary moment in a game
36) A sequel that was awesome
37) Good or Evil?
38) Favorite dungeon crawl or level
39) Achievements, to get or not to get
40) Favorite quest
41) Favorite pet/mount/companion
42) Favorite personal character name
43) Favorite Mini game
44) Favorite reboot of a classic game
45) Favorite combat strategy
46) Favorite art style
47) Favorite game adaptation
48) Game that made you feel the most heroic
49) Sci-Fi or Fantasy
50) Favorite morally ambiguous game
51) Game you love to hate, don’t get, wonder why anyone would buy
52) Favorite weapon
53) Male or female
54) Finish a game or not? How long to do you give a game before you write it off?
55) Multiplayer or single player
56) Instanced or not instanced
57) Best character progression
58) Favorite secondary character/random character/minor character
59) Picture of your game setup
60) Top ten games from your gaming history that you would recommend to someone else

Game Review: Guild Wars 2

Well we have to start somewhere.

So let’s start with what I’m playing right now, ArenaNet’s new Guild Wars 2, their follow up the successful 2005 release.  Guild Wars was a different beast than the slew of MMOs that were released around the time (namely, City of Heroes, Everquest 2 & World of Warcraft), being more focused on player vs. player combat and with a very strict set of abilities tightly balanced.

Continue reading “Game Review: Guild Wars 2”

How the Truth May Be, chapter three

It’s the music… it’s a blast of air, a dive into a cool lake, all of this is what it feels to be spirited away by a song. You tap a few strings, and it’s magical from the start. A vibration in the string, it causes the air to ripple, and you shiver with it. The movement creates a distortion, the distortion creates more motion, and the rules of the physical world bend to your will. To your voice. To you.

It’s the only religion I need…

chapter three

“Gaedan! Heya chief, how you feelin’?”

The attack by Roisin has changed our village already. Connla now mutters darkly at the intentions of elves, and the greviances against England are forgotten for a while.

“Yeah,” I wave my hand, hoping to stave her off, but Moll, if anything, is persistant. “I’m fine.”

“Did that girl hurt you, chief?” Concern? Perhaps.

I wonder, at this point, did I dream of Roisin? I know now that she exists, haunting the empty space between memory and fantasy like the banshee Fergus claimed her to be. From beyond the veil?, I wonder…

“You don’t look hurt, chief. Let me help you catch something though?” And there is real desire in her eyes.

A choice? Does Moll really lo…

“Looks like the bard-to-be caught himself something already.” Moll gasps, but I knew already who it was. Her. Excitement is hardly the word.

Roisin takes her time approaching us, circling around Moll, who is paralyzed with fear at the moment. I could care less, though. I look at Roisin, drink in every detail, admire how well shaped she is. My crimes are not often greater than that. Roisin grimaces. “Kinda small though. I’d throw it back if I were you, Patrick.”

She turns on me. “Or does this one have her hook into you, I wonder?” she says with a wink.

Moll sputters. “Just what do you think you’re doing here, you almost hurt Gaedan here yesterday and I know you’re just looking to do it again!” Wow. I didn’t know she had it in her.

Pursed lips. I could die right now if I hadn’t just started to live. “Well, if he’ll let me, sure. Do it again and again and again and again until our limbs fall off.” She smiles. “Sound like a plan to you, Patrick?” Oh, how she teases!

“But he’s not Patrick, Patrick is…”

“I know who he is,” Roisin looks me over and picks her nose. “He’s mine.”

“Wha… what… do you mean?”

A rumbling. Not foresight, no, for Moll can feel it too. A tremor? No – it’s above ground, a force, an army? I look to the west, towards the sea, and then inland. It’s on the hill though, that I see them… oh yes, the Siabra. I have foretold your coming, you that want to be the death of me, the ghostly renegades that have defied the Elves.

I squint. They stand on the hill overlooking Connla, letting the town take them in and be afraid. A motley band, not large, 20 men perhaps, but they are desperate people, robbers and cutthroats all. The townsmen scramble – women and children into their meager huts, the menfolk grabbing what weapons they can – mostly rusty falcattas and clubs. Roisin is now missing, which worries me. I wouldn’t think her to back down from a fight. Moll is cringing behind me now, wanting me to be her protector.

Me! A Bard! Protector of only one!

I urge her into the hut nearest us. Some of the older men and boys are inside with bows ready to defend. I take rank with the men, ready to defend our village and our lives.

We bellow out our defiance. The siabra charge.

We leave Dun Ailinne
My companions are somber. Running from Druim Ligen has burned off the excess energy that the prospect of battle can bring. Now they are alert, calm, focused on the grim art of war. We move on speed lent of sound, the only noise we make is by the concerted strings of us Bards. We are upholders of battle, after all. Wise men, prophets, royal advisors, emrys and magicians all are at the heart, living songs, tied inexorably to the eternal battle of our people.

And that is what I am. A living hymn of glory, destined to live and die in battle. And it is my song that will see the day through, make no mistake about it.

It is a responsibility I gladly carry.

And I begin to tell how it may be…
The siabra rush has pulled us off balance. Lugh blind them, they are a canny lot! We recover, however, the loss is dire – Tedwig has fallen, a brave Firbolg lad. I mutter a dirge for him, but carry on with my grim work. I am no Bard yet, I tell myself.

We regroup at the north end of town. The sky is now littered with arrows, neither side wanting to step out from cover after the first rush. The siabra have underestimated us in their first attack, and it has cost them dearly. They still hold the advantage of experience, though.

The arrows stop. The men mutter. Something is coming.

And we see it, all too late. The siabra advance now with interlocked shields, mostly made of wood and lashings, but they hold and deflect our poor arrows. Several of them hold back, looking for targets to expose themselves. The siabra reach our first position, and the din is awful. Arrows seethe into every place we allow – the battle has turned.

My thoughts are frantic. I search for the words I need to turn this battle. I scream, I am a Bard! But nobody hears. Nobody can listen. And in the smoke and confusion, I see my father.

And he is going down.

Confusion clarifys. What was once chaotic has order. The siabra have stopped, their faces blank. A note…

… a song…

My song! I feel the power within surge as the music flows from me, and once again, I enter the veil between worlds.

Come Daurdabla!
Come Coir-cethar-chuir!
Come summer, Come winter!
Mouths of harps and bags and pipes!

And she is here.

Roisin explodes into vision, still in her armor, sword in hand, she’s jumped off one of the huts into the fray, her blade tearing the siabra with vicious precision. Her warcry is lost in my song, as is everything at this moment. The air itself is alive with sense, the tingling vibration of my tenor has made the hairs on the back of neck stand at attention, it’s a power I never dreamt of, and it’s mine to command. With a wave of my hand, I see the ills of my people fade from sight, wounds restored as if they had never been delivered.

Yet, I cannot take my eyes of Roisin. She darts from enemy to enemy, her cuts quick and deliberate, never missing, never lingering. The remaining siabra turn to flee from our deliverer, but those that are not cut down as they turn have their lives extended only slightly as we rally.

And as if it were that simple… the siabra are defeated.

… to be continued …

How the Truth May Be, chapter two

You have heard me before a battle. You have heard me speak of life. Now let me speak of death and the ending thereof. You say I speak in riddles? You say I speak so that you may not understand? No, I tell thee, I speak so that you may understand. For mine is not a tale of easy understanding, after all. Mine is no simple child’s fable about a rat, after all.

The answers are always the same, after all. I tell you this story because I have to. Because I could not imagine not telling it to you.

And like all good stories, it starts with a woman…

chapter two

“Go away Moll.” I think I might have actually meant that.

“You don’t have to be so insulting, chief.” She’s pouting.

“As a matter of fact,” I say, drawing up to my full height, “I do.” She pouted. She showed me her birthmark again. And she wondered why I’ve been sending her away. I walk away.

“You know, about Patrick…” I stop.

There is a moment in time when things stop along with you, I’ve found. Time is only perception, after all. We think of things as “time really flies when you,” but time doesn’t move, it’s just us moving around it. When time stops, I’m not sure if it’s me that’s stopping, or if I’m really just catching up to time.

This time, time caught up to me.

“Gaedan!” I could hear the puffing on Elara’s lips. “Gaedan! Gaedan!”

The puffing got louder.

Gaedan! Gaedan!

An awen. My first, truth be told. Let every man hear!

A faceless mob. A voice in the din. A laugh, a cry, a song. A woman, full as nature itself, offering herself to me. Another cry, this one in lament. Sorrow fading, indifference fading, it’s a song that I can’t deny. I see the mob before me, their arms in the air, cheering me on. I see her at my side, urging me to fall, to jump, to crow like a rooster and sing for the crowds. A laugh and a cry, it all sounds the same when you’re on the stage. I lift my lips, I take a drink of nectar that is borne of no fruit.

And I sing.

“Oh there is no death of me!
There is only wide blue sea!
Send me off, ship me to Western Isle!
For here begins the tale of how truth may be!”

For a moment, all is right. There is nothing, no breeze, no land, just the sea. Then ground reasserts itself to me, and I fall…

And, again, I awake from a dream…
“Oh! Gaedan, you’re awake, chief.” Oh Lugh, why punish me?

“That’s enough Moll, let him be. Why not go tell his parents that he’s awake now, child.” Elara. Bless her.

I open my eyes. The awen hit me hard, but I’m still here, still in one place, in one time. When the foresight hits you, you feel like this. Strange. Alive. Even incapacitated, barely ambulatory, I never felt more alive. Elara is standing over me.

“How are you feeling,” she asks. I nod. Words aren’t comig to me yet, I’m still trying to relearn how to speak. Again. The foresight will do that to you. And it feels great.

“Gaedan,” she begins, cautious around me. As if Bards everyday just started into prophecy, into song, around her. “There was a visitor, an elven woman. She insisted that she see you, but I told her that…”

The door swings open.

And words cease to fail me.

“You!” I cry. I’ve never seen this woman before, but I knew her every detail. The golden hair pinned behind her head, her hair straight and molded, unmoveable, but short, so unlike an elf. She’s wearing armor, too, blood red scale, armor that seems to have been made for her body, so unlike an elf, so full it makes my heart ache.

She smiles, and I am lost. But I know what’s coming. The test. I am the one, after all, that she’s been seeking.

She jumps and nobody sees it. Her arms have now gained five feet of tempered steel, as she leaps towards my resting place, the small hut now resonated with that war cry of hers – a sound, again, I’ve never heard it, but from that moment on, I would never forget the harmony of her challenge.

She comes crashing down into my bed, the sword sheering where my head was, and the world is upside down and then right side up. Down feathers fly everyhere as I lunge for the sword on the wall that I’ve never used. She stands erect, now her face is hidden in shadow, and I think I prefer it that way. Her sword is held out, feathers fly around her, but her eyes are boring into me as I stand ready. She pounces and the fight is on.

We fight, we sing. My blood is pumping now, into every vein, and it’s liquid music and lust and love at once. “Oh Kelley”, I sing, “your rat had better be tough to face us!”

And like that she’s gone, fled before we can be prematurely interrupted, no doubt Elara has run for the guard thinking the woman an assassin of some sort. Oh, let them hear whatever the hell they want to her.

She has come, I think, and I am alive after all!

No doubt, it was attack, they said…
“I tell you, James, she was a banshee, one from across the veil, sent to kill us in our sleep!”

“Thats, ‘take you away in your sleep’, Fergus,” my father said. “And mark my words, she spells trouble from the elves. Even those Shar seem tame close to those creatures.” It’s the midnight council, we’re back in the trees, away from sight and habitation.

“Either way, James, it’s a grave threat to Connla! We must send word up to Howth for protection!” Fergus. At least he’s not Fagan.

“Bah, just be on yer guards and yee’l be fine. Young lad here seems to be rather quick with that blade, aye?” I nod. Old Kennedy this time. I liked that old man. “Aye, and to hear him proclaim today! Aye, lad will be a Bard in a few short years, mark my words.” He took a swig of his whiskey. “Any clue what she be after with ye, lad?” he asks. “Or who she be?”

A name. What was it that hack Merlin once said… a word is given when a word is required. Well, I hadn’t needed much help with this one…

“Roisin.” I wanted to melt then and there.

“Roisin?!” My father exploded. Short temper, but he is a Celt. “Now they take Celtic names!”

I shrug. “So how do you know this… Roisin?” I shrug again.

“I don’t. But something tells me I ought to. Something tells me,” I say, hoping to hide the hope in my voice, “something tells me, she’ll be back.”

And while the old men around the fire spoke of Elvish plots to take their land, I sat, cloak around me, already feeling the stiring of music within take a hold on my soul, and thought… this is the awakening, after all.

This is it, after all.

… to be continued …